The Shoddy Six Pack

World Cup Fever is in full swing over here, and though there's enough beer and boobs on The Shoddy Blog we could certainly do with some more sport. With 32 teams from every corner of the globe the World Cup can be a little daunting to the casual viewer, so as a little side project I have decided to create a 'league within the league' - a "Shoddy" Cup with only six teams in it.

The dilemma I faced was which teams to choose. The great teams? The underdogs? It was proving to be a hard decision. But then the solution hit me like a Nun's open palm to a naughty Catholic School Girl's naked buttock: Go with the readers.

The beauty of having a web-site on Blogspot.com, is that people from all over the world can stumble across your site. I haven't promoted this web-site in any form, yet there have been 17 countries that have visited the Shoddy Blog in the last few months (though to be fair countries 13 - 17 have only visited once. Don't be shy Lichtenstein, come back for a visit). So in respect to the most frequent visitors, I will form a selection of six teams chosen in order of the greatest number of site hits per country. The name of this funky new league?


The six teams are as follows:

AUSTRALIA

Not surprisingly this web-site is most popular in Australia (but not by much), so they are the first team to be put in the Shoddy Six Pack. It's been 32 years since Australia made a World Cup appearance, so the Aussie fan base is squealing like giddy school girls with excitement. Then again, we'd happily sit and watch Spiders fonicate if it meant beers and yelling were involved.


ENGLAND

England was pipped out of the Shoddy Blog's top hit count by less than one percent. Not that that fact has much weight, half the English hits are from Australians living over here. We share a kinship with the English, as they kick started the colony of Australia a few hundred years ago by shipping over the convicts. They took their criminals out of the murky grey sludge of Britain, and sent them to a Paradise of perfect weather and pristine beaches. In hindsight, that was quite a strange thing to do.


USA

Malaysia is actually the third most frequent visitor to the site, not having a team in the World Cup they forfeit their position in the Six Pack to the fourth most frequent: USA. Whenever I see America and Soccer in the same sentence, I always think of this Simpson's scene. Classic.


SPAIN

There is a minor but steady flow of hits coming from this country. I've never been to Spain, but I heard they like to have tourists come over. Get them smashed on wine. Then let Bulls trample them in the streets. Fucking awesome.



GERMANY

Indonesia would usually slot in about here, but they don't have a World Cup team so Germany have got themselves a spot. They've got the home-ground advantage, and they also drink from giant steins served to them by Medieval Porn Stars. Two reasons why they will go far in the World Cup.



ITALY

Though the Shoddy Blog has been gaining in popularity and the hits are slowly starting to roll in I'm not exactly running Tila Tequila's MySpace page here, and there is only one repeat hitter checking out the site from Italy. Hopefully that person is a Football fans coz they've earnt themselves the sixth and final spot in the Shoddy Six Pack.


The first round ends tonight, so I'll update the teams' progress tomorrow. Oz and the USA might get knocked out pretty early on in the piece, but the rest of the league looks quite good and we might get to see one (or even two) of these Shoddy Six Pack play in the final (or maybe not, it's a shame I receive no hits from South America). Even if they all drop out of the World Cup, one of the six teams will have the sublime privilege of being the inaugural winner of the Shoddy Six Pack. When the winner becomes apparent, that entire country will get laid.

Ozi, Mac, Aspin, Richo - you guys have been Soccer fans since way back so any commentary on the games is more than welcome. I'm still quite the Rookie Supporter. Honestly, I thought Trinidad & Tobago was a Mexican Cop Show from the 70's.

Shambles, Magic - you guys aren't Soccer fans. The last conversation I had with you guys was at 4am at the Sand Bar in Henley. The topic was "The Apocalypse" and we were convinced it would involve Giant Robots and Hungry Lesbians. Your commentary is also welcome anyway.

Toby, Jimmy - You'll be in the pub with me when I watch the games, but I usually phase out when you crazy bastards talk to me. You should email any thoughts as well.