The Top Five Movie Posters of 2007

And now gentle reader, a run down of my five favourite movie posters of 2007. Click to enlarge each one if the mood strikes you, you little web browsing tarts.

5 - BLACK SHEEP

"An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm."

This New Zealand Horror film had a variety of posters, including such taglines as:

"Shear terror!" and "Get ready for the Violence of the Lambs!".

All I can say is, nice work Kiwis.

4 - CAPTIVITY

This poster first originated as a series of giant billboards in Los Angeles. It caused the daily traffic so much stress that a number of people even crashed their cars (idiots). The billboards were consequently pulled down, a shame because it's a great poster, even if it's a shitty film.

Honestly, who the hell would go to the trouble of kidnapping Elisha Cuthbert, only to bury her alive? If I kidnapped her, I'd force her to dress up as Chun Li from Street Fighter II and then pour hot candle wax on my nut sack, in what can only be described as a "completely irrelevant sexual fantasy".

3 - PLANET TERROR

Stripper with a machine gun for a leg. Enough said.

2 - AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE
Check List:
Volcano? Yes.
Ninjas? Yes.
Cave chick on Motorbike? Yes.
Monsters with studded collars? Yes.
Chainsaw? Yes.
Crossbow? Yes.
Anthropomorphic Fast Food Products? Yes.
Pandas with Flame Throwers? No.

7/8 is an excellent score, but not quite good enough to make the top spot.


1 - HAROLD AND KUMAR 2

The promotional poster for Harold and Kumar 2 (due early next year), asking "What would Neil Patrick Harris do?", which both Gibbo and Jimmy agree with me is the most inspirational poster of the year.

In the first film, Harold and Kumar came across Neil Patrick "Doogie Howser" Harris stumbling along a high way mashed off his guts on Ecstasy. In a pivotal plot twist, Neil ends up stealing Harold's car to go searching for chicks.

In the second film, entitled Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, the boys are on their way to Amsterdam when they are mistaken for Terrorists, and subsequently have to escape from incarceration in Camp X Ray itself.

Christ, who comes up with this stuff? And what does it have to do with Neil Patrick Harris, or fucking Unicorns for that matter?

Whoever they are, god bless them for their genius.

I'd like to see you come up with a story like this Scorcese, you big eyebrowed twat.