It's Raining. It's Pouring.

Okay Mother Nature, I get it.

There’s not going to be a summer this year.

I accept the fact that it is going to rain. But Jesus you horrifying bitch, does it have to rain so Goddamn much?

The train was completely fucking rammed Friday night, due to half of the railway lines closing to flooding.

I stopped off at a book store on the way home, but couldn’t get in because that was flooded too. Went for a beer at the Falcon, which was closed due to water damage.

Ended up at Revolution that was open. The bartender told me how he had spent all morning removing damaged stock from their flooded basement store-room.

Christ, there’s wet weather; and then there’s this torrential end of the world shit we are experiencing now. Fuck England is erratic, here’s what Clapham Common looked like this time last year (during a water shortage I now barely remember):

But now it has been bucketing down almost every single day.

It’s the kind of biblical proportioned downpour that inspired Noah to build the Ark back in the day.

He put two of every animal (except the Unicorns, coz they’re fags) in his boat, and then sailed for dry land.

In hindsight, it wasn’t the smartest idea. Because once he had reached his destination and got the animals off the boat, he turned around and realised that the animals could only breed within their own families.

For instance: The Mummy and Daddy Tigers had children.

And since there were no other tigers, the baby brother and sister tigers had to breed with each other.

And then the Tigers' Grandchildren had to fuck each other.

And so on, and so forth, until several thousand years of incestual inbreeding passed and provided us with the current generation of redneck defect beasts.


And that, my friends, is why modern day animals are so fucking stupid.