FIFTY POSTS

I'm back, from out of space.

Apologies for the 2 week down time. I've been too busy or too sick with the flu to update this juggernaut, and I know there are a number of you suffering shoddy withdrawal symptoms - a problem I will try to rectify right now.

I actually sat down on the morning of Friday the 7th and started an update but halfway through I realised this was a milestone, the 50th Post. So to do something special for the occasion I was going to run the post in real time (the way some web-sites do for Sporting events or the Emmy's), updating every hour or so as my hungover Friday transpired in front of me. Two hours into this little project it became apparent that I was just too scattered to complete the mountainous task. That, and it seemed a little pointless considering 60% of the Shoddy readers are in an opposite time zone and probably asleep.

That post is still floating around my drafts somewhere, and I'll hopefully finish it and post it soon.

In the mean time this is still the Fiftieth Post on this illustrious web-site and something appropriate should be submitted to mark the occassion. I humbly present to you:

THE SHODDY STATS

Number of days online = 188
Not a bad stretch, considering I started the blog back in May purely to log my adventures of the Monopoly Pub Crawl (A set of posts I never got around to finishing). Sometime shortly after the third post on the crawl, I wrote some kind of dribbling tirade on Gordon Ramsey (the first "Neck Up Award") and I pretty much haven't stopped ranting since then.

Number of Hits (as of typing this post) = 1757
Traditionally my stat counter was a little spastic as it counted the number of Page Visits not unique visits. So if somebody stopped by and clicked on a few photos, then my counter would jump by a dozen hits and provide me with a false sense of popularity. I finally fixed that problem and swapped the counter from Page visits to Unique hits via the Stat counter options, 1757 since May.

Largest Fan Base = the UK with 36% of the hits
Australia is second with 32%, USA counts for 17% and Malaysia racks up 9%. Rest of the world = 6%, random foreigners who stumble across the site and leave with a mumbled "Chasquear la haba?".

Number of days since the Kitchen ceiling caved in = 61
We have had an English, Russian and Polish builder (yeah, sounds like the start of a crappy joke) come give us a quote, and all subsequently disappear from the face of the Earth. I don't mind the gaping hole in the Kitchen roof, but the upstairs toilet being out of action is quite a pest. Running down three flights of stairs at 2am in my Optimus Prime Pyjamas for a middle-of-the-night-pee-pee is not my favourite hobby.

Number of swear words = 132
I counted Shit-Whore as one word.

Number of times Ceiling Cat is referenced = 4

Number of times "Flicking the Bean" is referenced = 6

Number of baby elephants = 3
(I included Britney Spears in that count)

Photos of girl on girl kissing = 4

And finally, why the name?
The Shoddy name brand originated back in the heady days of the mid nineties when a group of my Film School cohorts and I ran a company called "Shoddy Horror Pictures". We spent the best part of three years churning out classics such as this:

I promise to write a post about the blood and guts mayhem of my film school days in the near future. Thanks for stopping by kids, here's to the next 50 shoddy posts.

beef.