Down the Rabbit hole we go

I’ve decided to get a little more active on the visual side of the shoddy blog, namely producing more of my own pictures rather than rely on random Google image searches so much. I’m going to procure a WACOM tablet so I can draw directly into the computer, which will be pretty sweet.

As soon as I have the cash, that is. Which may be a while coz I’m effin’ broke.
So in the mean time I have to rely on sketching pictures, going over in pen, then scanning them, then fixing and colouring the work in Photoshop. In the grand scheme of things that process isn’t all that time consuming, but it is quite agonizing for a serial procrastinator like myself, to the point where I started a handful of pictures at the end of March, and only just recently got around to finishing them.

Which left April on the Shoddy Blog empty as an orphan’s guts.

But on to greener pastures.

Uncle Beef promised you something special, so here it is you little sea-urchins:

If you’re new to the site….fuck off. I don’t like strangers.

But those regulars may remember my little experiment back in 2007 when I attempted May-hem version 1, a post for every single day of May. I failed that goal of course, the end result being 31 posts in 49 days (I only made it through the first week, before a late posting on the 8th day). Still, it was a month of enlightenment. 31 days of epileptic hookers, Giant Squid and Elf Castration.

Here is a selection of comments** made during the last attempt in 2007:

“Beef. You suck. Either that or your calendar is different to mine.”

“25th now, last post on the 17th.
eau de failure.
Once again let down by my heroes. I haven`t felt this deserted and sad since I was interfered with by the black wiggle. (the one with the funny white collar that is). You suck worse than Santa.”

“you don’t remember the 90's because of everything you've done to your body from 2000 onwards you municipal fucker!”

“How do you estimate that you grew up to be a healthy clean living gentleman? You used the phrase "spiderman" in reference to a handful of spunk and a lover's face in reference to SNOW. You sir have problems, the least of which is your crippling alcohol addiction.”

Highly encouraging stuff.

May popped back round a year later in 2008, but I did not attempt May-hem that year. Christ, I only managed 16 posts for the entire fucking year. But fuck 2008, onto 2009.

There will be new and relevant topics discussed in this month’s posts, but some older stuff as well. I’m going to take this opportunity to clear out my backlog of drafts, so don’t be surprised to see stuff dating back as far as 2006.

That’s the thing with the blogger account – it separates your articles into two sections: “published” and “drafts”. The published section is all those posts that have gone onto thrive on the web. The draft section is a collection of your unfinished work. A monument to your laziness, that taunts you like a sink full of unwashed dishes.

Or the dead hooker in your bath tub that has only been partially dismembered.

See you tomorrow kids.


*Comments were care of (in order) Lala, Little Jimmy(?), Real Jimmy, Des.