Milestones

The last of my limey mates has returned to the UK, and the dust has settled from the outrageous outback wedding. My god it’s been a busy few months since I’ve gotten back, but as far as I can tell I have nothing on now until October (my fourth of six weddings for this year) – time for some posts.

I know I promised an Oscars wrap up (though I’ve left it so long now I doubt even Mickey Rourke gives a shit any more), but I have realised a couple of milestones have been accomplished for the shoddy blog this month which deserve some attention.

Firstly, it was March 2nd a few weeks ago, other wise known as:

Holy shit, three years this bastard has been up and running. 36 months is a long time. It’s roughly the same amount of time it takes to completely dissolve a litter of new born rats in a litre bottle of Vodka.

Secondly, this post your sweaty eyes are feverishly darting back and forth over, well this is the shoddy blog’s:

Far out, milestones indeed. Seeing how the second birthday slipped my attention, and the 100th post slipped through the net during 2007’s May-hem Juggernaut, I thought I would do something special for this occasion, and dazzle you with some facts and figures.

SHODDY BLOG TRIVIA :

The shoddy blog has been online for 1,118 days. Roughly six times longer than a restraining order.

As of writing, the shoddy blog has had 9,166 unique hits, consisting of 13,932 page views.

The largest fan base is the UK with 35.64% of the hits.

The shoddy blog got Spike pregnant.

The shoddy blog was started in 2006 as a souce of information about the Monopoly Board Pub Crawl. It was kept online as a travelogue for my European trips. As of today, I’ve posted six photos from Antwerp, briefly mentioned an Easter road trip, and wrote one sentence about a Latvian strip club. And that’s pretty much it.

The shoddy blog came within inches of being shut down mid 2008 due to work related stress.

The shoddy blog finished Monkey Island 2 in one day, only having to check the walkthrough once.

Not including this post, 71,900 words have been written on the shoddy blog. That is the same number of words as you will find on 35,950 Give Way signs.

The shoddy blog is not typed on a keyboard, but written in beautiful calligraphy on a silk bed sheet using a quill and Dove’s blood. This sheet is then scanned into a computer and converted into Arial font, size 10.

Typing the words shoddy blog into Google will reveal the shoddy blog in the top two choices.

Typing egjopgmlgjpk will reveal the shoddy blog as the first and only choice on Google.



Hmmm, a lot of interesting bits of info laid out there.

But fuck I’m an A-hole. I don’t post for a month – then boast about how many posts I’ve done and how long I’ve been online. I’m like a Rottweiler that wont chase off burglars, then tries to impress my owners by eating his own vomit.

One glaring fact for me was that I hit 150 posts in just over three years, which means an average of almost one post a week. Taking into account I only posted four times between June 28th 2008 and January 14th this year, just goes to show how prolific I was in the early days

It’s interesting to see how much one’s life-style can affect one’s blogging. In 2006 (a cruisy year in which work was piss easy and I was financially stable) I posted 68 times, not bad considering I was only online for ten months that year. Then there was 2008 (a year in which I was on the verge of getting fired/quitting/declaring bankruptcy) I posted a woeful 16 times. Some people will crank up the writing when they are stressed, but I’m quite the opposite.

But fuck it, on to greener pastures. 2009 will be more productive (I’ve almost posted 50% of 2008’s tally already).

Giddy up ya bastards.



Another minor fact: this is the first time since May 2006 I haven’t had a picture banner as the title. But the current one had a Panda torching trees with a flamethrower which didn’t seem appropriate during the Victorian bush fires. I’ll create a new one soon.