Update coming soon. Plain fuck ran out of time today.

Next week: Dead Dogs, Tigers, and Toilets. Oh my.

20/03/08 - Update on the Update:

Still working on this update, which is basically a collection of strange News stories I’ve been sent over the last couple of weeks.

I should stop teasing you punters, because these flippant posts aren’t worth the wait – but what can you do.

Just dropped in to wish you a happy long weekend. I’ll be spending the break with three of the most dangerous fuckers ever to walk this Earth (as in Ben, Rusty and Mitch), on a road trip around the UK.

If I survive it, I just may tell you about it some time. Until then,

HAPPY EASTER KIDS.

Xanadu

So it seems the South Australian Tourism Board is causing a bit of controversy over here in London with their most recent Advertising campaign.

I don’t mean deep controversy, like they dug up princess Di’s corpse and pissed in her eye sockets. More of a light feather ruffling, whereby a few stiff upper lips are quavering.

Actually to be honest, I don’t think anybody really gives a shit at all. But seeing how I’m South Australian, and I live in London, this is a good enough topic for a post if any.

It seems Adelaide is experiencing a shortage of "young professionals" in it's work-force, and the tourism board has an aggressive plan of attack to not only keep Adelaideans in their home town, but to also attract Britons over as well. They got the ball rolling with this London commercial (click to enlarge):

And are now trying to hammer the point home with a potential ad campaign starring Ali G. To quote South Australia's London-based agent general Bill Muirhead:

We have an idea for a TV and cinema commercial which takes a cheeky dig at some of the less attractive features of life in the UK.
Things like housing prices, traffic congestion and dreary, boring places like Bromley, Croydon, Slough and Staines.

I’ve lived in six towns and two cities in my life, but as I have spent the longest period in Adelaide (13 years) I consider it my home town, and have a lot of love for the place. It's not the most exciting city in the world (Christ, probably wouldn’t even make the top 5 most exciting cities in Australia), but the quality of life there is excellent, you have to give it that. And after four years of London life, there is definitely a lot I miss about Adelaide.

That being said, I’m finding the current Advertising regime more than a little strange.

Partly because of their ambition to attack the obvious:

LONDON IS EXPENSIVE AND HAS POOR WEATHER LOLZ!!!1!

(Well, no shit. In other startling news it’s “kinda crowded” in Tokyo, and the swimming beaches in Antarctica are “pretty crap”.)

But mostly because of what they are basing their comparisons on: Bromley, Croydon, Slough and Staines.

Yes they are boring shit-holes out in the sticks. But if you’re a young professional looking to work in London; and specialise in the Financial, Legal or Engineering sectors – then odds are you’ll wind up working in Zone 1 in the heart of the city (quite an interesting patch of land in anybody’s books), and will never come within 50 miles of these crappy places. It just doesn’t seem fair to judge the entire city of London on a few crappy locations.

It’s like getting a lap-dance, and then rating the stripper on the quality of her armpits.

As for attracting Britons from the chav suburbs to come on over, it’s all relative anyway. If you took somebody out of Staines, flew them over to Adelaide, and then shacked them up in Elizabeth or Salisbury – would they even notice the difference? The only change would be that their neighbours are called "bogans" instead of "chavs".



No city on Earth looks good if the spot-light is turned onto their rough spots. It just seems these Smear adverts are better suited to the world of politics, than international tourism.

At the bare-ass end of the day, who really gives a fuck anyway. If you're happy, stay where you are. If you're not, look for other options. Simple really.

Anyway, here’s a few more Adverts I’ve spotted around town:

tardy

**Update coming soon, I promise. The internet line has been goosey at my end for the last few days. Check back tomorrow evening (UK time), failing that Monday night. Or not at all. Whatever floats your boat.**