OI OI Fuck

The Olympics are here again, rejoice.

To make it interesting I chucked a few bets on the outcome for Australia (coz god knows my Olympic Gambling always works). I had 80 bucks in my Sportsbet account so went:

40 on Australia to win 12 or more gold medals at 1.68 to 1

And

40 on Australia to win 40 plus total medals at 1.88 to 1

This was before the Olympics started of course, and now we are on day five and I think I might be struggling here.

Australia were favourites for the Men’s 100m freestyle relay and finished fourth. Emily Seebohm was favourite for the 100m Backstroke and finished second*. I turned to the Equestrian events last night for salvation, as this was something Australia always does well in. Sure enough, we started the day in second place and the Aussie rider Sam Griffiths was looking good. Then we change camera and cut to another country’s rider and after a few minutes I can see the Australian Horse galloping past in the background sans-jockey (who had just fallen off).The Horse's name was 'Happy Times', and well you just can't trust a filly with a name like that. He probably ran off to frolic with the forest creatures.

Fuck me. Australia ended up sixth, and a grand total of fifteen riders across the board fell off their horses, which doesn’t surprise me when you consider the mad shit they had to jump over.

 Princess Zara leaps over the planet Saturn.

Try saying that out loud without sounding clown shit insane.

Next up we have James Magnussen racing in the 100m Freestyle tomorrow morning (at half past fuck you AEST), and hopefully he is well rested. Apparently he didn’t sleep for two days before the relay. He was too nervous to slumber, a fact that belies his TV interviews where he always seems cocky as all fuck.

Current medal standings for Australia are 1 Gold, 2 Silver and 1 Bronze. So yeah, I’ve got miles to go to win some moolah. Anyway, here’s a few more pictures from the games.

*Emily Seebohm finished second, but she is still my favourite to win best name of the Olympics. Seebohm – pronounced “C Bomb” def as per Urban Dictionary: A term used to say that someone has used the word Cunt, without saying the word yourself.

For example, Spongebob drops a C-Bomb in the following exchange: