New Crib

Guess what kids, I’ve got a new house!

I no longer have to dish out blumpys to Sailors in back-alleys, because I now have a roof over my head. The offer we made on a house in Clapham Junction fell through. But a second offer, for another place in Clapham Junction, was successful. The Landlady took one look at Ben and myself, realised we were a couple of clean living Gentlemen, and took us on as tenants.

And thank god too, because if I slept on one more couch my spine would have crumpled and my body would have folded into two. Of course, if that had happened, I could be giving myself a blumpy right now. Oh well.

The new place is a two bedroom apartment on Lavender Hill, only two blocks from Clapham Junction Station. Though a touch noisy being right on a busy street, it’s as close as possible I can get to my Train-line without moving to Richmond, Twickenham or (shudder) Feltham itself. I couldn’t ask for a better location.

I’m into my 38th month of this London Adventure, and suffice to say I’m a little “tired” of peak-hour public transport.

This new location means I have shaved about 25 minutes and one whole train off my testicle-rupturing journey to and from work. It’s still a pain getting there, but more of a dull throb.

No longer the agony equivalent of getting a Chinese burn on my penis from a full grown Orangatang.

As a side note: I received a cheque in the mail, which was the bond money for my last place. The landlord took out £26 for steam-cleaning...and gave me the rest of the deposit back. One of the very rare occurrences where I haven't been fucked over since living in this city.