GROUP A

So we know a bit about the Australia team, and can name just about the whole line up for England off the top of our heads, but what about the rest of the competition? There are 32 teams in the World Cup, and we should get ourselves a little more familiar in this week before the tournament starts.

(Note, don’t confuse this with the Shoddy Group Sex Guide that I published last year, but pulled from the shelves after a number of readers broke their thumbs trying to perform “the Flying Bitch Waffle”).

All odds are per Sportsbet.com, which I recently created an account with (Woo Hoo!) .

Let us start at the beginning, with the four teams in Group A.

SOUTH AFRICA

Population: 49 million
Last few World Cup efforts: 1st round in 2002, 1998
Odds to win the Cup: 151 to 1

This dude was born in South Africa:

J R R Tolkien

These guys are playing for South Africa:

Aaron Mokoena (Portsmouth)
Benni McCarthy (West Ham)
Steven Pienaar (Everton)

This guy doesn’t play for South Africa:



MEXICO

Population: 111 million
Last few World Cup efforts: 2nd round 2006, 2002, 1998, 1994
Odds to win the Cup: 81 to 1

This dude was born in Mexico:

Ricardo Montalban

These guys play for Mexico:

Cuauhtemoc Blanco (Veracruz)
Rafael Marquez (Barcelona)
Carlos Vela (Arsenal)

This guy doesn’t play for Mexico:



URUGUAY

Population: 3.3 million

Last few World Cup efforts: 2nd round 1990, 1986, semis 1970. But of more interest, they’ve won the World Cup twice – 1930 and 1950.
Odds to win the Cup: 101 to 1

This chick was born in Uruguay:

Noelia Campo. An actress. Apparently.

These guys play for Uruguay:

Diego Forlan (Atlético Madrid)
Diego Lugano (fenerbache)
Christian Rodriguez (Porto)

This guy doesn’t play for Uruguay:



FRANCE

Cheaters never prosper...except when you are Thierry Henry, who handballed a goal assist in a playoff against Ireland, and then was rewarded with a qualification to the easiest group in the tournament.

Population: 62 million
Last few World Cup efforts: Second round 2006, 1st round 2002, won the World Cup in 1998.
Odds to win the Cup: 19 to 1

This chick was born in France:

Emma Watson, you little booze hag

These guys play for France:

Thierry Henry (Barcelona)
Frank Ribery (Bayern Munich)
Patrick Vieria (Manchester City)


This guy doesn’t play for France:

That’s Ghyslain Raza, a Canadian lawyer who is the president of the Patrimoine Trois-Rivières, a conservation society that aims to preserve the cultural heritage of the town of Trois-Rivières.

Though Ghyslain was a little more famous eight years ago: