2009 part 1: The heat is....on
Happy Birthday to Australia for yesterday, celebrating her 222nd birthday. My, we’ve come a long way since Captain Cook first founded the country.
Nice to see Captain James Cook fondly remembered on Google anyway:
The day after Australia Day seems an apt day to kick off our first recap of 2009, a post on the weather. You kids all psyched up to chat about the weather?
Excellent. Away we go.
As I’ve no doubt mentioned many times before, the biggest difference you notice between going from a Londoner back to an Adelaidean is the weather. 14 months later and I still marvel at the constant blue skies. I generally find the Adelaide climate to be the best I’ve come across, those who swear that tropical Asian countries have the best weather obviously don’t mind sweating from humidity. You can compliment the Thai islands all you want, but until you’ve been there during wet season there really isn’t any argument.
Yes, I do love my Adelaide weather. It’s just the heat waves that make me antsy.
I’ve was lucky enough to experience a few temperature records last year, and of course lucky being the operative word. From January 27th until February 2nd, the weather didn’t dip below 40 degrees including one Fuck-Blister day of 45.7.
I still recall that day and the all encompassing heat, and the next senior citizen to tell me how hard he had it when he was young is going to have 45.7C carved into his forehead with a knife, and then will be body slammed through a glass coffee table.
This was the was the worst heat wave the city had seen in a century, but as far as dopey headlines were concerned, it could be topped.
November 9th brought a 35 degree day and the start of a heatwave. I mentioned this quote by forecaster Hannah Marsh in an earlier post:
As it turns out, we had eight days straight above 35 degrees. This was followed by a couple of cool days, then a day of 39 degrees. That day was followed by a what-is-this-a-fucking-volcano 43 degree day on the 19th of November. Forty friggin’ three degrees, and it was only Spring.
The problem with South Australia, though, is that your boasts of insufferable heat in the big city are eclipsed by those living in the country towns. Those smart asses living up in the dusty, shit-hole Mad Max mining towns always have to one up our achievements. These towns always have such stupid names as well. So when I’m strutting around town in my jocks and sunglasses, gasping about 43 degree heat to anybody that will listen, some bastard has to come up and tell me
Bah.
That’s the general problem with South Australian weather, 40+ degree days pop out of nowhere and bake you in the face. But due to our cool changes, these hot peaks are hidden well within our monthly averages. The average temperature for Adelaide in January is 29 degrees, a fact that is much publicised by our tourism industry. I wonder how many poor bastard tourists read this figure and thought ”I’m guessing it will be 28C on some days, and 30C on others” only to step off the plane smack bang in the middle of a 45C face melter?
Yes, those forty plus degrees can be pesky. Thankfully, the 2010 climate has been more forgiving than last year’s. That’s not to say the hot days don’t pop up. It was 42 degrees just the other day, and the heat infiltrated my feverish brain and made me start to hallucinate. I walked past the Norwood Cinema and saw a vision of pure evil hanging in their “Now Showing” window. I shrugged it off as an illusion brought on by heat stroke.
Imagine my pure terror when I logged onto the web to find that the film actually exists:
God help us all. That befuddled fuckwit Hugh grant and that Horse Faced Goblin Sarah Jessica Parker crammed into one horrific world ending romantic comedy.
The deeply, deeply original plot synopsis has our two stars playing big city lovers with a waning relationship, forced to live in a rural country town for protective custody.
Yeah and I bet the fish out of water laughs come thick and fast too. It will be like watching Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun drowning kittens for two hours straight. I would rather dip my dick in seal blood and wave it at a polar bear than watch this movie. My heart genuinely bleeds for every boyfriend, husband and first date forced to go watch this tripe.
Man, heat rants bring out the worst in me. By my count, this is the third time I’ve blustered about heat waves on the blog – but this recap rant seems to have polished off my final thoughts on the subject, so my first resolution for 2010 is to not mention the Adelaide weather for the rest of the year.
Okay, one more:
Next Post....PANDAS!
Side Note: For those who do not use the metric system, 40 degrees is equal to one hectowidget plus one sixteenth of a yardmuffin.
Side Note 2: The web seems pretty divided on whether SJP looks like a Horse, or whether she looks like a foot (a claim first made by Peter Griffin). A third party is tagging her trans-gender. I’m sticking with horse.
1788
Today
Nice to see Captain James Cook fondly remembered on Google anyway:
The day after Australia Day seems an apt day to kick off our first recap of 2009, a post on the weather. You kids all psyched up to chat about the weather?
Excellent. Away we go.
As I’ve no doubt mentioned many times before, the biggest difference you notice between going from a Londoner back to an Adelaidean is the weather. 14 months later and I still marvel at the constant blue skies. I generally find the Adelaide climate to be the best I’ve come across, those who swear that tropical Asian countries have the best weather obviously don’t mind sweating from humidity. You can compliment the Thai islands all you want, but until you’ve been there during wet season there really isn’t any argument.
Yes, I do love my Adelaide weather. It’s just the heat waves that make me antsy.
I’ve was lucky enough to experience a few temperature records last year, and of course lucky being the operative word. From January 27th until February 2nd, the weather didn’t dip below 40 degrees including one Fuck-Blister day of 45.7.
I still recall that day and the all encompassing heat, and the next senior citizen to tell me how hard he had it when he was young is going to have 45.7C carved into his forehead with a knife, and then will be body slammed through a glass coffee table.
This was the was the worst heat wave the city had seen in a century, but as far as dopey headlines were concerned, it could be topped.
November 9th brought a 35 degree day and the start of a heatwave. I mentioned this quote by forecaster Hannah Marsh in an earlier post:
”if we only get to four days above 35 degrees, it will essentially be for the first time in more than a 100 years, but if we do get to five, it will be the greatest number ever recorded for November
As it turns out, we had eight days straight above 35 degrees. This was followed by a couple of cool days, then a day of 39 degrees. That day was followed by a what-is-this-a-fucking-volcano 43 degree day on the 19th of November. Forty friggin’ three degrees, and it was only Spring.
The problem with South Australia, though, is that your boasts of insufferable heat in the big city are eclipsed by those living in the country towns. Those smart asses living up in the dusty, shit-hole Mad Max mining towns always have to one up our achievements. These towns always have such stupid names as well. So when I’m strutting around town in my jocks and sunglasses, gasping about 43 degree heat to anybody that will listen, some bastard has to come up and tell me
”Well, just be grateful you don’t live up North. It got to 47 degrees in Moomba and Marree...”What the fuck is Moomba and Maree anyway? Isn’t that the pig and the ferret thing from The Lion King?
Bah.
That’s the general problem with South Australian weather, 40+ degree days pop out of nowhere and bake you in the face. But due to our cool changes, these hot peaks are hidden well within our monthly averages. The average temperature for Adelaide in January is 29 degrees, a fact that is much publicised by our tourism industry. I wonder how many poor bastard tourists read this figure and thought ”I’m guessing it will be 28C on some days, and 30C on others” only to step off the plane smack bang in the middle of a 45C face melter?
Yes, those forty plus degrees can be pesky. Thankfully, the 2010 climate has been more forgiving than last year’s. That’s not to say the hot days don’t pop up. It was 42 degrees just the other day, and the heat infiltrated my feverish brain and made me start to hallucinate. I walked past the Norwood Cinema and saw a vision of pure evil hanging in their “Now Showing” window. I shrugged it off as an illusion brought on by heat stroke.
Imagine my pure terror when I logged onto the web to find that the film actually exists:
God help us all. That befuddled fuckwit Hugh grant and that Horse Faced Goblin Sarah Jessica Parker crammed into one horrific world ending romantic comedy.
The deeply, deeply original plot synopsis has our two stars playing big city lovers with a waning relationship, forced to live in a rural country town for protective custody.
Yeah and I bet the fish out of water laughs come thick and fast too. It will be like watching Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun drowning kittens for two hours straight. I would rather dip my dick in seal blood and wave it at a polar bear than watch this movie. My heart genuinely bleeds for every boyfriend, husband and first date forced to go watch this tripe.
Man, heat rants bring out the worst in me. By my count, this is the third time I’ve blustered about heat waves on the blog – but this recap rant seems to have polished off my final thoughts on the subject, so my first resolution for 2010 is to not mention the Adelaide weather for the rest of the year.
Okay, one more:
Next Post....PANDAS!
Side Note: For those who do not use the metric system, 40 degrees is equal to one hectowidget plus one sixteenth of a yardmuffin.
Side Note 2: The web seems pretty divided on whether SJP looks like a Horse, or whether she looks like a foot (a claim first made by Peter Griffin). A third party is tagging her trans-gender. I’m sticking with horse.
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